The Woman I Had to Let Die

I had a lot of shame through my own perimenopause.

I'd spent years being a healer, building a life and a business around health and wellness and there I was raising my voice wanting to punch people in the face and then landing on the couch in tears.

I spent my fertile years birthing projects, not babies. Performance projects, two cafes (one in Melbourne, the other in Istanbul), a detox centre in Turkey, and the beginning of AnnyBody Wellness.

And then perimenopause hit, right at the point I was transitioning back to Australia. So much of what I'd built felt like it was falling apart, and my identity along with it. I didn't expect the cracks from my earlier life to show up so loudly and so raw.

I had to look at how I'd been treating myself for decades. The neglect and abuse from my youth was still very alive in me, unconsciously though. The relationships, the way I said yes to almost everything, the lifestyle that kept me from really caring for myself.

I don't think I could have shifted that course, it was such a part of my identity, if the dramatic loss of my mother and my partnership hadn't happened during that same time.

It was one of the hardest deaths I've had to witness, my own.

I just knew I had to begin respecting myself and part of that meant taking myself seriously.

Somewhere in the frustration and breaking, there was a clearing. I remembered I had always wanted to study Chinese medicine, so I did.

And here we are.

In a way, the crisis of perimenopause saved my life.

If I'd known then what I know now, I would have given myself so much more space, so much more understanding and compassion.

Perimenopause is a threshold that needs attention, a time to focus on yourself in a way you haven't needed to before. That's why I feel so passionate about sharing this work with other women, navigating various ways to understand and support this potentially shapeshifting time of life.

If something here speaks to you, you can work with me in person at my clinic in Preston and at The Yin Palace gatherings in Melbourne, or online through my qigong community and Rage Rising. The Three Treasures Pathway is offered both in person and online.

With Love,
Anny 🌹